Hello, lovely YOU!
If you’ve read my last couple of blog posts you know I have been talking about how we can survive these tumultuous and chaotic times. One thing I’ve learned throughout my life as I’ve faced my own battles and hardships is that there is always someone who steps into your life to support you. It may be your long lost friend, your aunt, or a complete stranger. Reach out and ask your spirit guides and God for a sign. I do this every morning in my daily ritual.
Right now we all need to strengthen our bonds with our friends, family, neighbors and others in our community. It is these bonds that will help us weather these changing times we find ourselves in.
But so many of us have been hurt and betrayed by those in our midst. And on top of these betrayals we also have the talking heads on TV… the politicians and central bankers and media personalities lying to us through pearly white fake smiles making millions of dollars a year to feed us lies.
Is it any wonder so many of us have absolutely lost faith in humanity?!!
So how do we trust again so we can form bonds that will help us get through this collective dark night of the soul?
Our instinct tells us if we don’t trust others, we can remain safe from hurt and betrayal. But the other side of that logic coin is that you are left alone and isolated, ever vigilant and never really happy or relaxed.
People need people. We are social creatures and we need each other in good times and in bad.
So how can we regain our faith in humanity?
Taking a Leap of Faith!
Rebuilding trust in others is no easy feat. While your head may tell you that most people in the world are good, decent, kind and trustworthy, your broken heart may take a while to catch up with this fact. And so this will require you to start your journey not with a timid step, but with a giant LEAP OF FAITH!
And that can be very scary.
I am suddenly remembering years ago when I had to go to a team building retreat for a company I was working for. They had us do that exercise where you fall backwards and trust that your teammates will catch you. I knew the seven people standing behind me quite well. We had already worked together for quite a few months and I knew intellectually that they were good, honest, trustworthy people. My head told me there was nothing to worry about and that I could fall backwards with no worries. But when the time came to actually do it, I froze for a few seconds. My defense system kicked in, trying to keep me from getting hurt. I did eventually fall backwards and my teammates caught me and not a scratch was left on me.
The point is, if you are someone who has been in a dark place lately and you have found it difficult to really trust anyone, understand that regaining your faith in others will take courage on your part.
Once you have committed to the process, use the following tips to help you start trusting others again:
Take Baby Steps
There’s something to be said for testing the waters with people. Building trust comes down to putting yourself and your needs out there and seeing what you get back. Ask a friend or neighbor for help with something. Ask a family member for advice. Ask a complete stranger if they can give you directions or retrieve something off a high shelf at the grocery store. Be slightly vulnerable and see what happens. Chances are you’ll get the help you need. The more and more you take these baby steps, the more you’ll start to feel you can open up to others and get what you need.
Trust in the Future
If you’re someone who has experienced real trauma or abuse in your life, you’ve not only lost your faith in humanity but also your faith of any real meaningful future. You lose hope that you will ever find your purpose, have a healthy relationship, do work you love or feel mentally and physically alive and healthy.
As you take those baby steps and begin to build your trust with others, try to also build your trust in a meaningful future. Go ahead and make those plans for a mini-vacation a few months out. Write your bucket list. Dream all the dreams you’ve been too scared to dream.
Remember Your Own Worth
Yes, there are some not so nice, self-involved, dishonest people in the world. And sometimes we are going to run into them and they are going to hurt us. Okay, so be it. But their inhumanity in no way represents our own worth. If someone abuses you or treats you unkindly, that is 100% a reflection of their core values and not your value as a person.
Remember that you are a child of the divine creator. It is your very nature to be worthy of love and kindness. Reflect on this truth daily until you really feel it in your core.
You are not broken.
You did not deserve the abuse or ill treatment.
You deserve to be surrounded by those who will love, cherish and respect you!
Don’t Ignore Reality
Some of us try to be so kindhearted that we refuse to see the bad in others. We are brought up to be kind and compassionate and to see the good in others. But that’s not always realistic and can get us in situations that deeply hurt us.
The truth is, there ARE bad people in the world who DO BAD THINGS intentionally. There are also people who don’t mean to do bad things but do them anyway because they have their own demons and injuries. In either case, if you refuse to see the reality of them, you put yourself in a position of getting hurt and the cycle continues and one day you don’t trust a living soul.
Be realistic. Be observant. If someone’s behavior has red flags all over it, don’t ignore those red flags, you are seeing them for a reason. Pay attention and be grateful for the sign and keep yourself out of harm’s way.
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If you have lost faith in humanity because of your own wounds and traumas and because of the craziness perpetrated on us by the crazies out there, I hope that you will go ahead and take that leap of faith and regain your trust and faith in humanity. We need each other right now more than ever.
Let’s chat in the comments section below.
