Have you been enjoying the lovely fall colors where you are? I do love the astounding New England autumns in Boston when the leaves turn crimson and gold and flutter down to Earth. And then the trees would stand tall and bare, looking like dancers striking bold poses.
Thinking about the trees shedding their leaves, I was reminded of when I first got to Boston and was looking for a property. Being a coastal city, many beautiful waterways exist in and near Boston. I knew I wanted a property that had a view of the water. (Hey, I’m a Pisces, I have to be close to the water!) One day, I toured a coastal property just north of the city that I was told had water views of the ocean. It did, but you could only see the ocean from the little attic window. Looking out that window, I could see the winter view when all the leaves were falling off the trees. It was magnificent. I decided to buy the house and spent many winters looking out the attic window, dreaming about blowing out the roof and adding a deck. That dream came true in 2020, just before COVID. I am so grateful and thankful to enjoy the winter season in full view when the trees have lost their leaves.
Life is like this sometimes. Only when something is lost can we have a fresh persepctive.
The loss of a loved one, a job, relationship or sense of identity can leave us feeling vulnerable, confused, uncertain and disoriented. But through the grieving process, we can also find something… unexpected and even wonderful if we can gain a bit of clarity in those moments.
For example, when I lost my health 30 years ago, I also lost a lot of people who I considered close friends at the time. I was only in my twenties when I was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma and given just 6 months to live. Prior to my diagnosis, I had spent so much time partying with my friends and having a blast, as most people in their 20s do. I felt incredibly close to so many people and always figured they’d have my back just as I would theirs.
And then the diagnosis came and so many of these people stopped calling, stopped coming by. In hindsight and now as a mature adult, I can completely understand where they were coming from. We were all 20-something and not at all prepared for a life and death situation. Most of my friends simply didn’t have the life experience or maturity to handle my death sentence.
But at the time, I remember feeling such a profound loss. I was losing my health, my life, my fun, and my friends. But something started to become crystal clear to me. With all of the loss I could SEE who my TRUE friends were. And I had them. There were those blessed souls who stood by my side and did the best they could with the awful situation we found ourselves in.
God bless those friends who stood by me in my darkest hours. I knew they cared for me before my diagnosis. But I could REALLY SEE their love and kindness when all else was lost.
Loss is hard, but it can show you something new…
You may have an opportunity to feel closer to people.
New bonds and friendships may develop.
You may gain a deeper understanding of what really matters to you.
You may recognize your own strength and compassion for the very first time.
You may come to know yourself in a totally new and profound way.
If you are experiencing any kind of loss right now, I send you love and light. Please take care of yourself and allow yourself the full process of grieving. And during this time, know that there may be something new for you to see; an unexpected gift, like a winter water view.